The Oken Natural Gas Disaster!
by Lord Jeremy Silver
Summary: The Oken Natural Gas Disaster of 2006 that Miley mention in Uptight   Oliver's Alright  .
1. Goodnight kiss!

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hannah Montana!**

**Author's note: This is the story about how Oliver fart on a date with Pamela as mentioned by Miley in the episode Uptight ( Oliver's Alright ).**

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><p><strong>The Oken Natural Gas Disaster!<strong>

**It's the year 2006 and Oliver Oken is trying to look cool while talking to a girl. The girl's name is Pamela Williamsen and she haven't had a date for three months.**

"So baby, you look hot!"

"Save it, Oken! I'm not into you!"

"How could any girl say no to the Smokin' Oken?"

"Easy thing, Oken! I'm _**not **_into you! Bye!"

"What did I do wrong?" says Oliver as Pamela walks away.

"Hi, Ollie! What's up?" Oliver turn around to see his friend Miley Stewart.

"I was trying to get Pamela to go on a date with me!"

"And she turned you down right there, I guess..."

"Yeah, she did...!"

"You're always trying to be some kind of weird macho-man in front of girls! If you just slow down and show the real you girls might actually wanna date you!"

"What? I'm cool and macho!"

"No, you're not, Ollie! I'm sorry!" says Miley with her best mother-voice.

"What are ya? My mother?" says Oliver, surprised and a little angry.

"How about I help you, Oliver?"

"How?"

"Come over to my house after school and I can teach you how to make a girl's heart go all wild and crazy!"

"Okey, see ya!"

Later that day Oliver is on the way to Miley's house.

"Seems like Smokin' Oken has lost his magic..." says Oliver as he keep on walking.

When he arrive at Miley's house Miley is waiting for him.

"Hi, Ollie! Dad and Jackson are at a football-game so we have 5 hours all alone!"

"Eh, okey..."

"Let's start with lesson no. 1."

"I'm ready!"

"Pretend that we're in school and I'm this very hot girl. What do you do to get her attention?"

"This! Hi, baby! Wanna go on the date of your dreams, eh?" says Oliver with his best macho-voice.

"No, all wrong!" says Miley and hit Oliver on the head with a newspaper.

"What did I do?"

"That's no way to ask a girl out, Oken!"

Oliver is confused.

"If you wanna win a girl's heart you have to take things slow and be calm and nice, okey?" says Miley.

"Okey! Let me try again!"

"I'm a hot girl. What do you do?"

"Hi there! You look cute in that outfit!" says Oliver with his normal voice as he smiles and look Miley in the eyes.

"Not bad, Oken! And next?"

"Would you like to go out with me tonight?" says Oliver.

"Good, now you've got yourself a date with a hot girl, Oken. Where do you go on the big date?"

"I don't know!"

"Oh, come on! Take her to see a romantic movie!" says Miley.

"I don't like romantic movies!"

"Sweet niblets, you're such a boy, Oken! You can't take a girl to see some stupid action-movie on a first date! Duh!"

"Sorry..."

"When the date is over you walk her to her door and you do what?"

"Try to make out with her...?"

"Wrong again, Ollie! A small soft kiss on the cheek is what you give her. That says 'It was a nice date and you are cute', get it?"

"Okey! What do I wear?"

"Regular jeans and a clean shirt in black or white should be okey!"

4 hours and many lessons later Oliver has to go home. It's already dark outside.

"I need to go home now, Miley! Thanks for all the great help!"

"You're welcome, Ollie!"

"See ya in school tomorrow!"

"Aren't ya forgetting somethin' now, Oken?"

"What?"

"I want my goodnight-kiss, Ollie!" says Miley in a soft romantic voice.

"Why? This isn't a date!"

"I just spent 4 hours teachin' ya how to get a date! I think that's worth a kiss, Oken! And don't get in there over your big head, I'm just talking about a regular kiss! I don't want you to make out with me!"

"I can't do this!"

"How do think you can get a date if you're afraid to kiss a girl, Oliver?"

"I'm not afraid to kiss a girl, Miley! It's just that you're my friend and I'm not in love with you! Kissing you would feel weird to me!"

"It's all platonic, Ollie! Just a little thank you from you to me for the help I gave you!"

"Okey!"

Oliver walk up to Miley and kiss her on her red soft lips as the moon shine upon them from the window.


	2. The date goes wrong!

**Oliver is in the boy's bathroom at school switching from his regular clothes into something a little more mature.**

"This should do just fine, I guess..." says Oliver as he put on a new black shirt.

A few minutes later Oliver walk over to Pamela who's picking up some books in her locker.

"Hi there! You look cute in that outfit!" says Oliver.

"Eh, thanks, Oken..." says Pamela, trying to sound happy.

"I know it's not a new outfit, I've seen it before, but you actually _**do **_look cute in it!"

"Aaww, thank you so much, Oliver!" says Pamela, now actually happy not just pretending to be.

Oliver is a little surprised to hear Pamela call him by his first name. The only girls at school who usually did that was Miley and Lilly.

"You called me Oliver, you've never done that before..."

"That's because I suddenly saw what a nice guy you are!"

"Thanks, Pamela! Wanna go out with me tonight?"

"Oh, I'd love to, Oliver!"

"See you at seven?"

"It's a date!"

As Oliver walk away he thinks to himself "Smokin' Oken's got a date! YES!" He is so lost in his thoughts that he doesn't see Miley and Lilly, almost walking right into them.

"Hey, watch it, Oken!" says Miley.

"Why are you all dreamy and happy, Ollie-boy?" says Lilly.

"Do I have to tell you everything? Can't a guy have a little secret here?"

"Aaww is Ollie mad at us?" says Miley and Lilly at the same time.

"No, not really!"

"Tell us the big secret then, Oken!" says Miley.

"Yeah, use that big mouth and tell us, Oliver!" says Lilly.

"I've got a date with Pamela!"

"Oh, congratulations, Ollie!" says Miley.

"Yeah, congratulations, Oliver!" says Lilly.

"It's thanks to Miley. She gave me a lesson last night and then she wanted me to give her..."

"To much information there, Oken!"

"Sorry, Miley!"

"What did she want you to give her, Oliver?"

"I just wanted him to give me an..." says Miley trying to come up with something to say. "An ice cream, that's all. Nothing else!"

"Okey!" says Lilly to both Oliver and Miley's surprise.

"Good luck on your big date, Ollie!" says Lilly as she leave for her next class.

When Lilly is far away enough Miley start to speak again. "You almost told Lilly that I asked you to kiss me!" she says in a small voice so only Oliver can hear it.

"You said it was just platonic so what's the danger of telling her about it?"

"Because she'll think that we're in love, Ollie!"

"Okey, I'm not gonna tell anybody about it!"

"Thanks, Oliver! I'm so happy that Lilly didn't suspect anything!"

"Me too!"

"Good luck on your date, Ollie! I'm late for class, see ya!"

Later that day Oliver is on the way to the small coffee shop that he picked for his first date with Pamela. He is wearing the same clothes he wore earlier in school along with a dark green jacket.

"Hi, Oliver!" says Pamela who's wearing a grey skirt a purple tank top and a dark blue jacket.

"Hi, Pamela!"

"Nice coffee shop, Oliver!"

"Yeah it's called 'The Old Hawk'. They have the best brownies in Malibu."

"Cool, let's go get us a table!"

"How about this one?" says Oliver pointing at an empty table in a corner of the room.

"That's perfect, Ollie!"

"Ollie?"

"Yeah, isn't that what your friends call you?"

"Yeah, but I prefer Oliver!"

"Okey, Oliver it is!"

A man come up to their table to get take their order. "What would you like to have?"

"A big coffee, black! And a brownie!" says Oliver.

"Me too!" says Pamela.

"That would be 45 dollars, sir!"

"Here!" says Oliver as he pay for their order.

"Thanks, Oliver!" says Pamela.

"I asked _**you **_out. You shouldn't have to pay for this."

A waitress walk up to their table. "Your order, sir!"

"Thanks!" says Oliver.

"You're welcome!"

"This is for you!" says Oliver and hands Pamela her coffee and brownie.

"You're so sweet, Oliver!"

"I've been told that..."

"You're funny too!"

"Thanks, you're sweet too!"

Suddenly out of nowhere Oliver farts.

"Ewww, Oliver! That's disgusting!"

"Sorry, I didn't want to do that...!"

"Bye, Oken! This date is over!"

"Nooooooo!"

**The End.**


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